Secret Admirer
by butterfly collective
Summary: C.J.'s POV of the incident where a high school classmate comes to town to stalk her and what will happen when Matt finds out. Just borrowing the characters.
1. Chapter 1

C.J. hadn't been in the office when the huge bouquet of flowers had arrived for her. She'd been driving Matt to the airport so he could catch a flight back to Houston Texas to give a sworn deposition in some civil litigation involving his daddy's business.

Now Bill Houston had just passed of a heart attack but one of his oil deals had left some loose ends when a cast of unscrupulous characters had tried to swindle Bill out of some hard earned money. Matt had been a key witness and had been called out to testify. He'd only be gone at most several days to give his account, answer a whole bunch of questions and to do some unwinding from his busy life in L.A. spent solving cases to help the clients who hired him. It'd be the first time he'd been in his daddy's house since after the funeral.

"You sure you going to be okay with that," she'd asked him more than once. He'd told her he'd be just fine. After all, he'd grown up there and had many fond memories of life on the ranch.

They'd left the office early and she drove him to LAX to drop him off at the private terminal where his Lear Jet was fueled up and waiting for him. In the car, she'd been reading the newspaper to catch the latest on the Congressional Hearings involving the promising drug protocol that Houston Pharmaceuticals had been testing for the past two years. As she closed the newspaper, she noticed a brief about a man who'd been found lying dead on the side of the highway outside Barstow, his skull crushed by what turned out to be a giant rock.

The Barstow Police Department representative had been quoted as saying that the motive for the attack appeared to be the theft of his car which hadn't been found at the scene. There was mention that another car that might have been stolen itself had been recovered instead. She looked for the name of the deceased man but it had been withheld pending notification of his next of kin.

God, life was crazy in Southern California these days, she thought as she then helped Matt brush up the files he'd be taking with him to help him on his testimony.

LAX loomed ahead as he exited the 405 and headed towards the major airport weaving through the late morning traffic. They parked in front of the private terminal building as a jetliner passed just over them. They walked to the entrance while he asked her if she could stay out of trouble while he'd be back in Texas. A standing joke between them when one of them took the other to catch a flight and she jumped in to reassure him that unlike last time, she believed it'd be much quieter at the office.

After all, the corporate president, Murray Chase was out of town on a trip to Singapore to nail down another business merger. But she caught the concern in his voice when he asked her if she'd do fine in his absence. So she felt like reassuring him.

"Well you're just going to give a deposition. You're not going to the moon. I think I can handle it for a couple of days."

He smiled at her in response.

"Well say you'll miss me anyway."

That went without saying but she humored him.

"I'll miss you anyway."

He kissed her softly on the mouth before leaving her to head into the terminal and she watched him go. Hoping he'd have a safe trip and that he'd be back soon. She missed him when he left town though she never told him that. But she'd keep herself busy with work and by spending time with her boyfriend, Carl who ran his own law firm in Century City. She'd known him when she'd been back at Harvard University Law School though at the time he'd been dating Carol Le Masters who'd been working towards her medical degree.

They'd been study partners and great friends and when he reappeared in her life years later, they'd gotten romantically involved after Carol set them up. Tonight they'd be attending an award ceremony for one of his good friends and since they always had a great time together, she looked forward to it. But she had to spend a full day at her desk first.

* * *

So she headed back to her car to get back to the office where a pile of paperwork awaited her.

And something else not expected.

She'd seen the gorgeous display of flowers and balloons as soon as she got off the elevator. She thought maybe one of the secretaries had a birthday. They sat on Chris' desk and maybe she held them for someone else. But Chris grinned and told her that the flowers were for her and C.J. plucked the card out of the baby's breath to read it. Her eyes widened when she read all the words scrawled on it.

"_**I have been following your life and career. I've been with you in spirit you might say. You have been the success we always knew you'd be. A person of consequence who stands apart from the rest. Someone like myself. If I may be so immodest. **_

_**Do you believe in fate?"**_

C.J. didn't know how to answer that. What an odd question she thought. She'd never thought of life that way being a pragmatist, not one prone to whimsy believing that life was what you made of it. But of course there were more words that had spilled onto the paper. None of them sounded familiar to her even in their entirety so she kept reading hoping to find some clues.

"_**I believe we have much to talk about. I hope my directness and candor doesn't embarrass you. It shouldn't. People like us shouldn't be afraid to day the obvious or express our feelings. I'm so anxious to finally meet you and see you again…"**_

She frowned as she neared the end of the message.

"_**Love…Dean…"**_

C.J. looked over at Chris in confusion still holding the card.

"Dean, who's Dean?"

Chris just looked at her in surprise.

"You don't know him?"

C.J. couldn't think of anyone by that name, certainly no one who'd send her such a display of flowers.

"No! I haven't a clue."

She seriously didn't…the name didn't ring any bells at all. She searched back in her memory back to childhood and came up with nothing. It frustrated her but maybe there was some kind of mistake. Then Chris said something else.

"He phoned…twice."

Chris gestured with her fingers for emphasis. Obviously this guy impressed her but C.J. just felt uneasy. She handed the card back to Chris. The writing had come off as just sounding so odd, because it reminded her of no one.

"Well this letter sounds like a cross between Shakespeare and _Mein Kemp_."

Chris disagreed.

"Well I think it sounds pretty romantic."

C.J. smiled at her knowingly. Chris was the queen of romantics even though most women in her shoes would have been jaded by men. Dating in L.A. was just so difficult, and Chris a bit too trusting. She'd been working on her but she didn't want to dampen her friend's enthusiasm for hitting the single's scene. So she softened her whole approach for her.

"Well you would."

The phone interrupted them and Chris answered it with a polite greeting. She soon smiled and handed it to C.J. who greeted the caller.

"This is Dean."

Damn he still didn't sound familiar to her at all. So she just said, yes? She hoped something would jog her memory so she'd have some kind of clue about the man who had popped into her life out of nowhere. Because he had to come from somewhere right? He did sound like he knew her. His voice sounded a bit impatient, yet controlled.

"Did you get my flowers…and my letter?"

"Yes I did."

"And…?"

Damn she still had some questions that irked her.

"Who are you?"

He seemed almost amazed at the question and she didn't get that at all. It just puzzled her all the more.

"You don't remember me?"

He sounded as if she'd forgotten something very important. So she thought she'd try to put it more delicately.

"Where should I remember you from?"

She heard him pause for a while.

"Of course…it was a long time ago," he said, "Look I'd really like to see you."

"See me?"

C.J. felt odd just saying that much leery of why this guy she didn't remember seemed so interested in her. She still had no idea where she'd crossed paths with a guy named Dean. She supposed she had, there had been so many guys even back when she'd been younger but Dean? Was he a high school jock, a guy in her history class or a lab partner, was it college?

"See you…yeah you know have a date."

As if he was saying the obvious. That he wanted to see her socially.

But she just wasn't interested and so she tried to tell him that. In a tactful manner saying that she didn't date people she didn't know hoping he'd get the hint. He seemed a bit taken aback and then asked her again if she didn't remember him.

"It's Dean…"

The name again, the one she still didn't know from well…Adam.

He was starting to irritate her because he wouldn't listen to what she said and kept trying to insinuate his way instead. But after a moment, his words became fewer, his pauses greater and he seemed to get her message.

"Have a nice day and I am sorry."

Then she hung up the phone and headed to her office to tackle her workload leaving the flowers and card behind.

* * *

She got off work early and said goodbye to Chris who still stared at the flowers as if mesmerized by them. Speaking of which she needed to head off to the nursery to get some starter kits to transplant some annuals to border her gardens in her back yard. When she went to play at the register, she searched in her purse for her checkbook but couldn't find it. She thought she'd put it down on the counter but…it wasn't there. She probably left it in her car or at home. She'd been so busy that she often didn't pay attention these days to where she left things.

So a bit embarrassed, she told the cashier she'd pay with cash instead and then toted the plants to her car.

It'd been strange but as she walked the rows of plants in the nursery, she felt her body tense and her mind feel uneasy while she searched for just the right flowers. Almost as if she weren't alone but looking around, she saw that the nursery was pretty much deserted but that feeling persisted. Once, she'd turned around suddenly almost expecting to find someone behind her.

Later that night Chris had come over because they were going out to that awards ceremony so she'd showered and gotten dressed up in her favorite white gown and he'd worn his tux. Looking too damn handsome she thought as she saw him standing at the door.

He'd come in while she'd still been getting ready, teasing her about it taking her so long. She chuckled as she talked with him. He kissed her on the mouth so thoroughly yet careful not to mess up her hair or makeup. She'd been seeing him for over a year and she had reached the point where she realized he just might be a keeper. He'd been so open about how much he cared about her; she could relax around him like few people in her life. She'd spent most of it being scared of getting too attached to the men she dated, something she traced back to losing her father at such a young age.

The only constant in her life had been Matt but she'd just started to believe that Carl wasn't going anyplace. When she woke up in the morning, she'd see him asleep, feeling the warmth of his body and the strength of his embrace. Or he'd be cooking her his special omelets in the kitchen.

She thought about that as she finished getting ready for their date while he told jokes about the office that day, making her laugh too hard. She loved men with a healthy sense of humor and Carl had that in spades. Wait a minute, was she thinking of the world love here?

Was it still too soon to feel that way?

At some point, he'd gone to answer the door so she could finish getting ready as they were running late already and still had to navigate the heavy downtown traffic.

"Carl who is it?"

She didn't hear him from where she fixed her hair up. But she walked on over while putting her earrings on to see him standing alone by the open door. She looked at him in question.

"Well frankly my dear he didn't give a name."

C.J. just looked past Carl towards the door but no one else stood there. She didn't have much time to think about it because they really had to get going. They didn't want to have to slip in to their seats after the ceremony had started and attract attention. After a few minutes, they did get going and they made it in time…barely.

She spent the rest of the evening focused on the gaiety of the event and the man sitting next to her. Everything had fallen into place for them and life had become just about perfect.

* * *

C.J. exited the elevator the following morning and the first thing she saw was the floral display on Chris' desk. She'd overslept this morning but Carl was to be blamed for that. He'd spent the night at her place and then insisted on making her an omelet shaped like the state of California with the fixings and some hash browns.

It took a while to kiss him goodbye while they both headed to work. Still, she smiled all the way looking forward to going out with him to dinner later tonight. But her smile dimmed as she saw yet another floral display even larger than the previous one sitting on Chris' desk.

Chris saw her and said to someone on the phone.

"Wait she's just walking in…

C.J. rolled her eyes as she checked out the flowers.

"Tell me these are for you…"

Chris smiled.

"I wish the card says they're for you."

C.J. picked up the phone figuring it must be Matt of course, checking in to make sure they were all working hard. She already missed him as the office and L.A. just wasn't the same without him.

"Hi"

"Well, hello back at you. What's this keeping banker's hours while the boss is away?"

She chuckled at that.

"Well why not? Life's too full when you're around pal. How's it going?"

She thought she heard someone typing on the other end of the line.

"Well, it's going alright. It's been a long night."

She could imagine that and how he spent it. Matt was what was called in some circles a playboy and others just a player when it came to the ladies. He was one of L.A.'s most eligible bachelors and kept a Rolodex just to keep his dates all straightened out. She joked with him about it many a time and the rumored black book of his that everyone else thought he owned.

Including a social columnist or two.

"Are you still giving your deposition?"

"Yeah somebody hear from the D.A.'s office typing it up now."

That explained the background noise.

"Okay what's your ETA?"

Matt paused and she could hear his brain working all the way here.

"I…it'll be a few days I think. I…I've got to go over the trial testimony and clear up some loose ends. So I…anything back there I should know about?"

C.J. just looked at the flower display as he asked that and something inside her almost let her speak but…she really didn't want to bother him with something so trivial. It sounded like he was distracted himself. Blonde, brunette or redhead she asked herself. As for the mysterious Dean, she could handle that interruption in her life by herself.

"Uh…no…you just do what you have to do and get back as soon as you can."

"All right you take care."

She said bye to him then and hung up the phone. She looked at the latest display of flours from the mystery man named Dean. That name still didn't ring a bell with her at all. Damn, who was he and where did he know her from? High school, college…law school, nothing made sense and he didn't seem in a hurry to clue her in, just to quiz her on it for some reason. She picked up the card that rested on top of the flowers.

Short and sweet this time, she noticed.

"_**For someone special…love Dean." **_

Chris sighed at her desk almost as if she were swooning.

"You can't fault his persistence."

C.J. didn't really like the fact that quality in someone she didn't know enough to remember.

"I don't know…do me a favor and have this out of here by the time I come back."

"Back from where?"

"I'm going to have lunch with an old girlfriend Elaine Ellis. So if I get any calls I'm out."

She left feeling the irritation start to slip away. She'd been looking forward to meeting up with Elaine for months since she found out she'd moved to L.A. to work in the real estate industry. Their schedules just always conflicted with each other until both realized they could squeeze in lunch today.

* * *

She met Elaine at one of her favorite restaurants by the old marina. Elaine had dark brown hair stylishly back off of her face and had been one of her best friends back from high school. She didn't look like she'd aged at all in a little over 10 years.

Elaine beamed at her.

"And now look at you…woman of the year…vice president of Houston Industries. Most likely to succeed. We were right…"

C.J. smiled in response and Elaine raised her wine glass.

"You've aged very well Ms. Parsons."

C.J. clinked her glass with her friends to make a toast to both of them. They'd both done good in the decade since graduation.

Then Paul the waiter brought her the telephone telling her she had received a call. Must be from the office.

"Yes Chris…"

But it wasn't the receptionist.

"I tried to call you at the office but I guess I missed you."

C.J. paused looking all around the restaurant but she didn't see anything out of place. Dean had called her here, how had he known where he'd find her? Damn this was getting too weird for her. But then she figured Chris must have told him her location.

Elaine looked at her.

"What is it C.J.?"

She gripped the phone more tightly. Fear was too strong a word to use but her body had tense in readiness for what, she didn't understand. But the guy put her on edge. The questions raced through her head and she fought to rein them in so she could get more information from him.

"How did you find out that I was here? Have you been following me? Where are you?"

He didn't answer a single one of them.

"I just wanted to see how you liked my flowers."

"Let's forget about the flowers shall we?"

"Look I arranged them myself. I just wouldn't let a shop do something like that. "

Irritation began to fill her at his attitude. Something about it just rankled at her. The way she felt rattled and yet he didn't seem to notice.

"The flowers are very nice and you are probably very nice but the fact is I would prefer that you not call me."

She paused slightly.

"Let's just say there's no point to this. Now you go your way and I'll go ..."

He didn't let her finish.

"Oh about that other guy. It's all right. Don't get embarrassed about him."

His audacity shocked her.

"Embarrassed?"

She touched her forehead like he was crazy and Elaine looked worried.

"Well I got to admit but I was a bit put off at first…even a bit angry at first. But then I considered it you know. You're entitled to a personal life I think."

C.J. just sighed in disbelief, not believing what she heard but it pissed her off.

"Now hold on just a minute…"

But he just continued with his script as if this were part of asking a woman out, not paying any attention to her reaction.

"When can we meet? We've got so much to talk about. It's been so many years."

She sighed, knowing she had to be firm with him and direct in telling him she didn't want to see or talk to him. A part of her wanted to soften her rejection of him but she wanted to make herself clear.

"We aren't going to meet. I want you to stop calling me and stop sending notes and flowers. I want you to leave me alone."

"Nothing of value is easily won I guess."

What the…. She slammed the phone down and Elaine looked at her.

"Who was it….C.J.?"

She had her answer now finally. Beyond a shadow of a doubt.

"I know who it is."

"A secret admirer how gothic," Elaine said as they both got off the elevator.

C.J. shot her a look and Elaine said, sorry not funny I guess. C.J. said that some line that they'd been talking about earlier had struck in her mind when Dean had made a similar remark. She walked straight to the bookshelf and pulled out an old yearbook.

"Today when I talked to him, he said it's been years."

Some guy from high school, Elaine asked and then C.J. pointed out a photo of a male student from the yearbook.

An old boyfriend? No, she'd never had anything to do with him and if it was him, he was sort of a strange duck.

"Well that fits. With all those phone call and flowers it's weird."

C.J. couldn't argue with that as she turned the pages in the old yearbook and looked to find him. She found a headshot in the section showing off the city council officers their senior year.

Elaine studied the photo of the grim looking young man, thinking he looked vaguely familiar too. Christian Dean had been his name.

"Maybe he uses his last name."

C.J. studied the photo intently.

"Maybe…I sure wish I knew his whereabouts."

Chris chimed in from her desk.

"Can Baby help?"

The phone rang and C.J.'s head rose sharply. No, not again, don't let it be him. She braced herself for another unwanted call from the man who wouldn't go away.

Anger more than anything else filled her as she picked up the phone. She really had to make him understand so he'd knock it off with trying to get her to go out with him.

"That's enough…leave me alone…"

But what she got in response hadn't been what she'd expected.

"C.J…"

She breathed a sigh of relief and a little embarrassment.

"Oh Houston…it's you…"

"Yeah, yours truly from sunny Texas. I expected a nice polite Houston Enterprises. What's the matter?"

Now this was really embarrassing. She chuckled to make light of it, noting some concern in his drawl.

"I'm sorry it's nothing."

"You mean you're telling me a 'leave me alone that's enough' is nothing?"

She almost felt embarrassed at this point. After all, it was just some guy from her past who probably came to town and decided to look her up.

"Well it's this fellow from my high school days. He is hounding me."

"Oh I see. He's one of the many broke hearts from your checkered past?"

"Something like that. He just won't take no for an answer. It's annoying. "

Enough of that, time to change the subject quickly.

"Anyway how are you doing?"

"Well, the deposition is…is over with. I do have to hang around and witness it before the court session tomorrow and I…"

A huge pause and some noise followed. She knew a woman had just walked into the room probably wearing next to nothing. Matt hadn't lost any time.

She looked at her phone a moment in amusement knowing full well what Matt was doing on the other end. He certainly filled in whatever spare time he had on his trip quite well.

"I should be able to fly back after that…but what I do need from you is the Tanner litigation file from two years ago."

"I'll have it on the plane tomorrow."

"Thanks…anything I can bring you from here?"

She sighed, thinking that she only wanted one thing from him right now. But it'd have to wait until he did his business.

"No just yourself. I do miss you. So hurry back soon okay?"

"I'll see you then."

They both hung up

* * *

C.J. got home and checked her mail before going into her house. The moment she stepped inside her familiar living room, she felt unease hit the back of her neck. While leafing through her mail, she spotted her missing checkbook sitting on the desk. How on earth had it gotten there? Had she dropped it there and just forgot about it? Must be, she thought as she looked around her living room for anything out of place. She couldn't drop the feeling that something seemed off as she opened the door into her spacious bedroom.

She opened her bathroom door almost as if she thought something might pop out of it. But instead it appeared quiet, just like she always left it. She felt foolish for thinking otherwise as she went to run herself a shower and then started to unbutton her blouse after removing her jacket.

She'd almost felt like someone had been watching her, someone from the shadows but no one had been there.

A draft hit her as she walked back into her bedroom and she looked up to see a window open. She frowned trying to remember if she'd opened it to get some fresh air and had forgotten to shut it. After seeing the curtains blowing, she went to shut the window and looked out into her backyard patio. Of course that looked normal too. Damn, what was going on inside her head, she just felt as if she were on edge.

She closed the curtains and walked away.

* * *

Carl and she went out to dinner that night in a posh hotel. They'd almost decided to get a room there and stay the night but he had to get up early in the morning to go on a business trip so they left.

She got in his car while he tipped the valet and they soon drove back to her place. She focused on him during the ride back, thoroughly enjoying anther evening out with him. God, had she ever felt so happy or relaxed with anyone else? Well, yeah with Matt of course but they were best friends, never lovers. Carl seemed almost nervous and a bit quiet while he drove down the darkened city streets. He finally turned onto a quieter road near her neighborhood. In a few moments, they'd be at her house and head inside to enjoy a nightcap and maybe…

But then he cleared his throat.

"You know there's been something I've want to been asking you for a long time but you don't have to answer tonight if you don't want to."

She smiled at him feeling almost giddy right now but she'd heard the earnestness in his voice so she listened for what she sensed was not only an important question but one he'd carried around for a while. Then the car started making funny clunking noises and Carl glanced at her, his expression different.

"You wouldn't happen to know where there's a gas station…"

"Is that the question," she said chuckling.

He laughed too.

"No I'm overheating…"

Oh, yeah it did sound like something had gone wrong with his car. Odd, since it'd been working just fine on the drive to the hotel. But it didn't disrupt the festivity of the night in her mind.

"Oh well we're not far from my house."

"Somehow I don't think we're going to make it."

She smiled at him, biting her lip holding back a chuckle.

"Somehow I think you're right."

The car's noise and movement worsened as it started lurching, forcing Carl to stop it on a darkened street, lit up only by a couple of streetlights. C.J. thought she saw some headlights behind them but they passed by. Carl got out of the car while she remained inside it. He lifted up the hood to take a look while she poked her head out the window to watch.

"I don't suppose a hairpin would help…not funny?"

He'd just given her a rueful look then returned his attention to the car.

Another car pulled up alongside them and parked in front. A hulk of a man got out and C.J. recognized Too Mean Malone a former NFL football star who had become a close friend after they solved a case involving his teammate.

"Trouble," Too Mean asked.

C.J. got out of the car to join them. She smiled widely when she saw her friend.

"Too Mean!"

Too Mean smiled back.

"Hi Carl."

Carl gestured to him.

"Can you believe this?"

"Two Mean what are you doing here?"

His answer surprised her.

"I got a call from Houston late this afternoon. He thought you might be hassled so he told me to keep an eye on you. So I followed you."

"What," Carl said.

C.J. flipped her hair a bit irate.

"I don't want to be followed."

Carl echoed her.

"And I don't want to be followed either."

"So you'd rather see me at the unemployment line…I mean Houston's paying the freight for this. Two Hundred bucks a day plus expenses."

Carl flashed a look of bemusement as Too Mean pled his case.

"So let me follow you "

Carl didn't look moved.

"You're breaking my heart."

"Ah come on."

But then Carl looked on the bright side.

"It so happens you're what the doctor ordered. Can you give the lady a lift home?"

"You bet…"

C.J. felt surprised.

"Oh you're not going to come with me?"

Carl gestured to his wounded vehicle.

"And leave this car here…surely you jest. You call the automobile club and I'll be along later and maybe you can make some coffee?"

She smiled and winked at him.

"Well if you play your cards right, they'll be a brandy waiting with it."

Carl loved the sound of that and he walked over and kissed her goodbye. It was a long, slow leisurely kiss filled with all the emotions that layered all their kisses. Carl had a wit about him when it came to words but he expressed himself truly well when he said nothing at all. They broke the kiss and C.J. felt his taste on her mouth eager to pick things up when he reached her house after dealing with the car. He could stay the night and she'd drive him to the airport first thing tomorrow so he'd make his plane.

"So you see what a good idea it was me following you," Too Mean said.

C.J. just shook her head and followed him towards his car. They settled inside.

"I never did trust those foreign cars," he said as they drove off.

C.J. didn't know it but she'd never see Carl alive again.


	2. Chapter 2

The sun rose over the city of L.A. but C.J. didn't notice it. She'd spent most of the night sitting in the waiting room at the Memorial Hospital Medical Center while Carl underwent surgery.

When she got back to the house, she'd brewed coffee for him, gotten him the brandy that she promised. She figured it might take him an hour at most maybe two. But he never showed up at her house.

Then she drifted off to sleep on the couch and she saw him there. Just standing in front of her dressed in his tux, looking peacefully down at her….his blue eyes radiant and she tried to say something to him, anything.

How much she'd loved him and hadn't told him because…well she couldn't remember why now.

But instead, he drifted slowly away from her and when she'd reached out for him, he'd slipped away from her fingers. Then she saw the shadowy figure instead.

Her nightmare man.

Matt had been kidnapped for ransom as a child by what he called the Nightmare Man. She'd been instrumental at pulling him out of his shell when he'd been a young boy that she'd met up with in the sixth grade.

He'd been friendly and in some ways fearless, but being alone in the dark terrified him. So after he finally shared why, she came up with some rather…inventive ways to address that fear. Matt had put his trauma behind him but used the memories of it as an inspiration to help others through the investigative firm.

But she had her own nightmare man, who like Matt's existed in the flesh. It had been her first year in law school at Harvard when she'd crossed his path while driving with a man named Jonathon from work to pick Julia up from a party.

Only it hadn't been what it seemed and the three of them wound up being held as collateral to get their friend Scott to turn over a disc he'd kept while working for a man named Andre.

What Andre had almost made her do…what she'd agreed to do to save her friends from death…it haunted her still. Mostly years later at night, in her dreams.

The only way he could still hurt her by making her relive that night…which had ended when men sent by Andre's father had arrived to take him and set the building ablaze. She had to find Jonathan and Julia locked up in a basement room and the three of them barely escaped with their lives.

She never heard about Andre again though she still kept in casual touch with Jonathan who'd gone off to work for the U.S. Marshal's office as a field agent. Julia had married some guy she fell in love with and started a charitable foundation. But it wasn't the present that she dreamed about, it was the past that she'd tried to put behind her.

She'd never told Matt about it….but he'd been in this dream with her trying to help her escape from the building amid burning rafters collapsing around her. Her breath burned in her lungs and she felt the heat blast her skin.

Would they make it to the only way out in time? She ran faster and the hallway got longer, longer until…

The doorbell rang waking her up, ripping her away from the world of dreams and nightmares.

Her watch read 2 AM and she heard the bell ring again. She walked to the door thinking that Carl had finally sorted out the car but when she opened it, she saw Too Mean instead. The expression on his face stopped her cold.

What he had to say nearly stopped her heart.

"I was listening to the scanner and I heard police say that someone called them about a man lying in the street in front of his car. He'd been hit more than once…"

She didn't need to ask him who it was, she already knew.

Carl.

Oh god, she should have never left him there alone on the dark street. She should have insisted he bail on his car and drive back with her. Call the Auto Club from there and have the car towed to a service garage to get fixed. They could meet the tower there.

But he'd stayed waiting for them instead and now he was critically injured. Too Mean found out which hospital. Damn, she'd been there herself not too long when she'd been shot by a member of a Chinese Triad when trying to find who murdered her friend Connie Ling. Matt had been there by her bed holding her hand when she woke up. His face lined with relief, his hand felt so good almost as if led her back to the land of the living.

She would do the same for her boyfriend. He had to make it. She called the hospital before she left and the nurse didn't give her much information. Only that he'd been unconscious when he arrived and that he'd been rushed into surgery. After she hung up, she sprung into action.

She'd dressed hastily in a pair of jeans and a black top and Too Mean rushed her to the hospital. They didn't talk much and she knew it'd be bad. But she believed that the surgeons would be able to save his life like they had hers.

That he wouldn't die…she didn't even consider that. When they got to the hospital they sat there and waited on hard seats drinking diluted coffee trying not to watch the clock on the wall. If they did that, it'd slow down like a watched pot. She had gone numb since she heard the news, had been on autopilot while getting dressed and she didn't say anything to Two-Mean so lost in her thinking that he had to make it. If anything happened to him….but she stopped right there. No, she couldn't think like that, of course he'd survive. This was one of the best trauma centers in L.A.

The hours ticked by and about an hour before sunrise, the vigil was interrupted by police officers who dropped by as part of their investigation into Carl's hit and run accident.

Accident, yeah right….from the time she heard the news she didn't believe it was that at all.

It was attempted murder, pure and simple.

The driver who hit him on the street had struck his body more than once worsening his injuries. How could that be an accident? One hit might be, but the second could only be deliberate…to make sure he was dead. Only the killer hadn't succeeded because Carl had clung to life all the way to the hospital making it past pre-op in the ER and into the operating room. But the officers wouldn't listen when she pointed out the obvious suspect.

Christian Dean.

She told him how he'd sent flowers to her, how he'd called her, how he wouldn't take no as an answer for her when she told him to stop contacting her. It had to be him that hit Carl. The car had been working just fine until they left the hotel. Maybe he'd followed them there, sabotaged it and then followed them, knowing that the car would break down.

What had he planned? To kill Carl, but then he wouldn't know ahead of time that Carl would be left alone with the car. Maybe he'd planned something else…she'd shared this with the officers but she knew they didn't believe her.

We found skid marks near the body, one said, so the driver had tried to stop and just couldn't do it in time. She argued back that the driver had done that only to make it look accidental, to cover his tracks.

God, she hated arguing with him when she needed to be strong for Carl, ready to be by his side when the surgeons fixed him up. Finally they closed up their notepads and left her alone with Too Mean.

"They acted like I was crazy," she told him, "Like I should be thrilled a man sent me flowers and called me."

Too Mean sighed.

"He's a man who couldn't take no and when he found out you had a boyfriend, he wanted him out of the picture, that's all."

More time passed and she started to pray. If Too Mean hadn't been there, she might have collapsed in despair. She might have allowed herself to feel the anger, the raw terror and the guilt that lay below the surface of her numbness. The last ate at her the most because if only she hadn't left him…

She saw herself staying with him while Too Mean went and called for a tow. But then what if that's what Dean had wanted? No sense to dwell on it as she stared at the clock again.

Matt had told her that he had said a prayer for her when it'd been her in the operating room and he'd been in the lobby waiting with Too Mean. She'd kept a vigil for Matt when he'd been shot multiple times and had been declared dead on the table. The news had nearly broken her and when she heard that they had revived him she made a promise to herself.

So far she hadn't fulfilled it. Life and the man in the operating room right now had gotten in the way. The man who had dropped everything on his business trip and flown back to make sure she was okay until Matt got out of the hospital.

She begged in her prayers that Carl survive, if only he'd make it, she'd….she'd do all kinds of things in return. C.J. could always cut a good bargain as Matt had always said. Anything to be able to hold his hand and feel life there…and not the cold chill of a life that's passed into death.

But when the surgeon finally broke through the double doors and removed his mask, she'd already known it was bad news.

She'd seen it in his eyes and something inside of her broke.

"Oh my god…"

She raised her clenched fists to her face to keep from screaming as the numbness started to break away with the news the surgeon would tell her. She barely heard what he said even though she saw his lips moving.

"We…tried…lost him twice on the table…spinal injuries C2…subdural hematoma…cerebral hemorrhage…couldn't revive…"

All fancy words for the fact that he'd died on the table.

It wasn't supposed to happen that way. The surgeons were supposed to save him, to patch his broken body back together again. She'd sit by his bed for five minutes every hours holding his hand and talking to him, knowing that he'd hear her even if his eyes didn't open.

* * *

A couple of hours later, she still just sat there in the waiting room. Oh she'd tried to call Matt but he'd been in court and couldn't be interrupted as she'd forgotten about the time difference. She couldn't even get a message to him. Not knowing what else to do, she waited for the police to come and ask her more questions for their investigation now that it'd become a homicide.

She hoped they'd changed their attitude since the first interview.

Lt. Michael Hoyt, a close friend to her and Matt entered the waiting room and she got up to meet him. She thanked him for coming and she meant it. He'd become a good friend to her and Matt.

"You okay?"

She just shook her head.

"They worked on him all night…couldn't save him. Your people said it was a hit and run accident."

"Because that is what it was."

She shook her head, rejecting that theory. She had to make him see what it was and who did it.

"He was murdered."

She heard the doubt in his voice just after she read it on his face. She sighed deeply, would she have to start from square one again? She thought Hoyt would at least listen to her not be so dismissive of her like the other officers.

"You told me your story about…secret lover or whatever it was."

She interrupted him.

"Hoyt he called and he called and he sent flowers…"

"My wife should be so lucky. C.J. when I heard it was you I asked them to double check the scene. Now from the skid marks it looked like someone tried to stop, hit their brakes and slid right into Carl. They were drunk, maybe scared and in any case they kept going. But there was no evidence whatsoever of murder…"

Hoyt put special emphasis on his last statement. C.J. ran a hand through her hair feeling the emotions threaten to take over. She wanted to scream, she wanted to pull herself out of it and go to work solving Carl's murder like it was a case that she'd taken on with Matt.

Damn, she needed him so much right now and he was several states away completely unaware of what had happened.

"Why am I going crazy…is this guy got me so wrapped…with Houston out of…"

Hoyt grabbed her arms and looked at her distraught face.

"Look I'll tell you what I'll do…I'll talk to him."

That might help, she thought. She might be getting some place here with convincing Hoyt to give the so-called accident another look.

"I don't know where he lives."

"What's his name?"

She hesitated.

"Christian Dean…I think."

"What?"

"I'm not certain that it's him."

He sighed and she knew she'd lost him.

"You're batting a thousand…"

Just as Too Mean walked in the room.

"Well I'll do what I can to check it out. Want a couple of female type officers to keep you company?"

She shook her head.

"That won't be necessary," Too Mean said, "I'll be able to handle that."

"I'm glad to hear it. I'll consider the lady… covered. Go home Ms. C.J. Parsons. Your boyfriend died last night. It's been a miserable time for you. Go home."

That pissed her off even though it hadn't been Hoyt's intention.

"Not home Hoyt…I'm going to find out about this Christian Dean."

With one last determined look at him, C.J. walked out of the room followed by Two Mean to head on back to the office and get to work at finding Carl's killer.

She'd do that if it were the last thing she ever did and she didn't know how close she'd come to that coming true.


	3. Chapter 3

C.J. headed back to the office with Too Mean still in shock over Carl's death but it had ebbed enough so she knew she would do what she had to do to find his killer.

It helped that in her gut she knew it was Christian Dean. The man who had come out of nowhere to seek her attentions, by sending her flowers and calling her on the phone for a date…while telling her over and over in different ways that their paths had crossed during high school.

But she'd rejected him…nicely at first and then more firmly. He'd seemed to take it well and she thought he'd finally gotten the hint to just drop it. Now she remembered the comments that Dean had made to her having a boyfriend, referring to him as "that other guy" in the phone call. How had he known she was seeing someone let alone Carl?

Not long after that, Carl was dead.

Despite what Hoyt and the police detectives told her about it being an accident, she knew he'd been murdered. She knew the man who would believe her and would help her get justice but he was several states away unaware of what had happened.

Who was Christian Dean anyway, beyond a name and the face in the yearbook? Nothing really came into mind in reference to either.

Honestly, she didn't have much memory of him at all. She'd been so busy with her own life in high school, spending most of her time either studying for her honors classes with Julia and other friends or working on her uncle's ranch.

She'd barely even had time to spend with friends except for Julia and Matt who lived close to her. She'd dated several guys but Matt had been wrong about her "many broken hearts from her checkered past" because her studies had always come first before everything else. She'd wanted so much to go away to university to study pre-law, to get the grades she needed to get into Harvard School of Law.

She just didn't have any time to remember anyone named Christian Dean. But he had clearly taken the time to learn more about her. He tracked her down didn't he, all the way to L.A., to a restaurant at the marina and he'd likely tampered with Carl's car last night.

"You think the background's going to reveal much?"

She glanced over at Too Mean and nodded.

"Our system's the best. If there's anything to find out about him, it'll be in there."

Matt had spared no expense buying the most sophisticated computer system on the planet and it had never let them down in all the cases that they'd taken on to solve and bring closure and justice to their clients not necessarily in that order.

She really needed all its resources right now. But she'd have to start looking through them on her own to find a killer in the middle of one of the country's largest cities.

A needle in a haystack didn't even begin to describe it.

The numbness threatened to tighten its hold on her again and she didn't fight it. She knew it covered the turbulent emotions festering inside of her right now. Anger, sadness, frustration and the constant asking of herself of why she left him alone with the car….if she hadn't…but the tidal wave of doubts that threatened to overwhelm her had to be kept in check.

She'd never be able to do what she needed to do to find this Dean and nail him as Carl's killer. The police wouldn't help her. They'd looked at her like she was crazy when she told them about Dean. Hoyt just treated her the gentlest because he was her friend and he knew how much Carl had meant to her.

After parking the car, the two of them headed up the elevator to the office. It was empty so she led him to her office where she pulled out the yearbook. They took it upstairs where he thumbed through its pages while she booted up the computers system. It didn't take her long to pull up some files on Dean and she jotted down some notes while reviewing them.

Afterward she left the computer and headed back to Too Mean.

"Christian Dean…is a genius of sorts…"

She explained that he got perfect scores on college aptitude tests and an IQ in the 160 range. Too Mean didn't look too impressed.

"What's his tolerance for pain?"

She shot him a look then continued reading her notes.

"Areas of interest philosophy, pre-Colombian Art, Modern Dance…president of the Drama Club in his first year of college..."

"Oh he's bad…"

"He dropped out of college after his first year entering Marvel Sanatorium for extreme depression."

He would go on to live in and out of sanatoriums for most of his life with his most recent release, just six months ago.

"Just tell me where I can uh…get a hold of him so I can ask him about doing in your boyfriend."

Too Mean clenched one of his hands into a fist for emphasis.

C.J. sighed, feeling conflicted over his approach.

"Too Mean I want you to work with Hoyt on this."

"At least I can guarantee he won't…bother you anymore."

The phone rang interrupting them and they both looked at it before C.J. picked it up. She recognized his voice immediately. Fighting to keep her voice calm, she started talking.

"It's you again."

"Sure…why wouldn't it be?"

"No reason…If I sound a bit off today it's because a friend of mine… had an accident."

He paused.

"Oh, well I'm sorry to hear that."

She tried to keep the edge out of her voice.

"Yes it was very tragic…but these things happen. Christian…"

He seemed overjoyed that she remembered him.

"Yes I remember you from school. You liked people to use your last name."

He said something about it being a philosophical statement and then jumped to the chase.

"Listen, can we have lunch?"

She began to lay out the trap for him.

"There's a place at the Marina that I could take you to."

He took the bait so she reeled out some more line.

"Well it's a little bit tricky to find so if you could meet me at the boat yard there. Sorenson's?"

Absolutely, he said and when she suggested noon he said that would be fine.

"My dear C.J. great…"

He hung up and she sighed deeply. The tension that built up during that phone call spilling out of her. She turned to Too Mean and said she was going to call Hoyt because she knew he'd want to talk to Dean about Carl's death.

Too Mean had his own plans. He got up to leave.

"Meanwhile I'll have a little chat with Lover Boy. I can guarantee he won't be on your case anymore."

She thought about that and turned towards him.

"Too Mean…listen if Hoyt is right…if he isn't…"

"The killer?"

"What I'm trying to say is that if he's just some poor sick soul don't hurt him."

"I'll just explain things to him.

With those final words, Too Mean walked out the door. He wouldn't be coming back.

* * *

The phone call came a couple hours later and she'd been sitting by it waiting for Too Mean to call and report on what happened at the boathouse. But as time passed, the phone remained silent and she began to worry. After all, somebody probably Dean had murdered her boyfriend and so what Too Mean had gone to do could be very dangerous. But she'd harbored some doubts that Dean was the killer because he hadn't seemed the type. Killers didn't send flowers and make phone calls inviting old classmates to lunch did they? How could someone who'd just murdered a man on a dark street in cold blood act like nothing had happened?

Yeah, it's not like a killer would announce his crimes but she hadn't picked up any hint of emotion in Dean that indicated he'd just killed someone.

When the phone finally rang, she jumped on it. Maybe it was Matt finally released from the courthouse if it wasn't Too Mean reporting on his progress.

She hadn't expected it to be Hoyt. But when she heard his voice, an icy chill permeated inside her chest. She knew something awful had happened.

"What is it Hoyt?"

He paused and then he sounded so grave.

"Too Mean's in the hospital," he said, "He's in ICU, came in about an hour ago."

Shock filled her that someone had put the hulk of an ex linebacker there. Christian Dean? Had he been armed with a gun, a knife or some other weapon and ambushed Too Mean?

"What happened?"

Hoyt sighed.

"We're not sure…got a 911 call from a guy who owned a boat, said he found him lying there bleeding from the head and face. Didn't see anyone else…what was he doing there anyway?"

C.J. paused, taking it all in but not believing it.

"I arranged a meeting with Christian Dean for lunch and Too Mean went instead…just to talk to him, to tell him to leave me alone."

Hoyt sighed again.

"C.J…why didn't you call the police instead…?"

She didn't miss a beat.

"Because you thought Dean was some harmless guy because he sent me flowers before he started killing and hurting the people I love."

"C.J. that's not fair…"

"Isn't it? You didn't even check Carl's car to make sure it hadn't been tampered with before it broke down did you? You just believed that it was some person who hit him by accident and then fled the scene…even though Carl got hit more than once by the car."

Hoyt sighed.

"I'm only one person and can only do so much," he said, "But I'll ask the detectives assigned to the incident to go back and double check some pieces of evidence and see what they find…you going to the hospital?"

"Same one…?"

"Yes, doctors did say he'll make it but he'll be out of action for a while."

She stood by his hospital bed later but he hadn't regained consciousness. She just said a prayer and the nurse touched her arm sympathetically while leaving the hospital room. After taking a moment to try and clear her head, she walked back to the pay phone to call Matt.

He must be out of the courthouse right now and hopefully back at his daddy's house. Please let him be there by the phone, that's all I ask…she said over and over again until she slipped some change to make the call.

"Be there…let him please be there…"

She didn't know what she'd do at this point if the phone just rang without him answering it. Her boyfriend murdered and now Too Mean lying in critical condition, both of them for getting in the way of a killer.

The phone rang a couple times as she clutched it tightly while praying, her eyes closed. He had to be there to listen to her.

Finally the ringing stopped and she heard someone pick it up.

"Hello…"

Matt's voice and suddenly all the emotions that she kept walled up so she could function threatened to overwhelm her, to stop her from talking to him. She paused and then broke it with a single word, others followed in a rush.

"Houston…god…uh…I don't know where to begin with this."

Tears threatened and she willed them away so she could talk to him while he was miles away.

"C.J…slow down, what's the matter?"

His calmness gave her the courage to continue because it all sounded so crazy.

"Too Mean's in the hospital. The man who's been calling me, he did it…"

Her voice threatened to break but she stopped it.

"He killed Carl, Houston. He killed Carl…Carl is dead."

She could tell the news shocked Matt but he kept his voice even.

"Take it easy…I'm on my way all right?"

She hung up knowing he'd get his jet fueled up and the flight plan filed before he left for the airport but it'd still take some hours until he reached L.A. Sometime later tonight which meant she'd be alone until then.

* * *

After leaving the hospital, she headed to get some food to eat at the drive thru window at a restaurant but she didn't have much of an appetite. As she drove down the streets towards her house, she kept an eye on the rear view mirror in case any cars followed her.

But as she neared her neighborhood, the streets looked pretty quiet and as the sun set, it began to get darker. She entered into her dark house after parking her car in front and flipped the light switch almost expecting something to jump out at her. But her living room looked just as she left it and she walked around checking all the doors and windows to make sure they were closed and locked up tight.

The house seemed so quiet, everything in its proper place but still she felt the uneasiness fill her, which something was horribly out of place. Exhaustion hit her hard since she hadn't slept in a couple nights but she didn't feel like sleeping. But if she didn't, she'd spend most of the night pacing by all the windows looking out, jumping at every noise or she'd just sit unable to move paralyzed by fear.

Carl and Too Mean hadn't lasted long against Dean, what chance did she have if he tracked her down and found her here? She unlocked the case where she kept her gun and carried it with her, though it didn't make her feel any safer.

She looked at the clock as it slowly ticked time away thinking where Matt might be. Boarding his plane at the airport…flying over Arizona before entering California airspace…landing at LAX and exiting at the private terminal.

Driving in his car towards her house….hopefully as quickly as possible….because she so didn't need to be alone right now in an empty house with only a handgun to keep her company.

At about 10:30, she found herself barely able to keep her eyes opened so she went and took a warm shower, rinsing the day away, trying to keep everything at bay including how alone she felt. She dried herself off and then slipped into her favorite pair of silken pajamas to try to get some sleep.

She turned down the bed and slipped beneath the covers and looked around at her room before turning off the light. Nothing loomed in the shadows, or creaked the floors. So she flipped the light switch and pulled up the covers so she could try to get some much needed sleep. Matt hadn't arrived yet but she knew he'd find the spare key and let himself in the house. Her last thought before she drifted off was how good it would be to see him again, to feel safe and not as alone as she did right now.

But as it turned out, she wasn't alone at all.


	4. Chapter 4

C.J. drifted off to sleep finally from total exhaustion but peace eluded her. She tossed and turned, restlessly. Images flashing in her head of Dean stalking her, leaping out of the darkness catching her off guard. She tried to run from him but she couldn't move, the ground turned to quicksand beneath her feet and threatened to swallow her up.

The hallways lengthened with each step she took like a telescope expanding and he chased her, only since the man didn't have a face she wasn't sure it was him. She'd had this same dream many times before when another man from the past had pursued her.

She opened her eyes suddenly and saw an outline in the darkness at the foot of her bed. It looked like a man without a face staring back at her through soulless eyes. She just lay there and watched him standing, waiting for any sign that he was real and not a figment of her imagination.

Then he moved towards her and she saw his face in a stream of moonlight through a window.

Christian Dean.

He leaned over on the bed and put one hand over her mouth before she could scream and used his body weight to pin her so she couldn't move.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Be quiet."

All she could do was stare into his face devoid of emotion.

"Understand…do you understand?"

She paused and knew he waited for an answer so she nodded. He removed his hand from her mouth.

"I just want to be with you."

He stroked her face with his fingers and she struggled to remain impassive.

"Those other friends of yours, they were just getting in the way. That's all. I'd never hurt you."

She trembled beneath his touch as he outlined the features of her face as if taking ownership of her like a pretty artifact rather than a person. His face lined with emotion then but she didn't want to look at it. He'd just admitted to killing Carl and putting Too Mean in the hospital.

"I just want to hold you. Be with you."

Paralysis had grabbed hold of her, frozen her on the bed even more effectively than his body did. She wanted so much to move, to push him away, and to reach under her pillow to get the gun she kept hidden there. She had stashed it there before she went to sleep, expecting him to come after her. She knew she'd have to kill him if he did.

But she just lay there, her mind racing, while her body remained motionless.

"That's all…have you…"

Then he lifted her up to kiss her mouth and that was the deal breaker for her. Suddenly her body poised to act, her muscles tensed and she waited for just the right moment of attack, as she'd been taught by Matt. When he kissed her, it took everything within her to not react, to play like she were dead awaiting just long enough…

Then she heard knocking at her front door and so did he. He looked towards it and she started screaming as she pushed him hard enough to knock off her bed. Then she rolled over and reached under the pillow to grab her handgun in one swift movement.

So efficiently so quickly that he had no time to stop her from going after him…and suddenly, she heard Matt call her name once. She focused instead on Dean who when he saw the gun took off in flight across her bedroom towards a window. She aimed her gun at him and fired it, just as he leapt through the window shattering the glass. She got off the bed and ran towards it, firing her gun once into the darkness outside.

Then she ran as fast as she could towards the back entrance still holding the gun tightly. She opened the door and looked out in the darkness, the feeling of helplessness overwhelming her, the adrenalin rush that drove her to shoot draining from her. He had to be hiding out here somewhere waiting to attack her again.

Where was he? She waved her gun in every direction in case he popped out of the darkness and she had to shoot him.

Shoot to kill.

Then out of the corner of her eye she saw a man come out the other door with a gun and she thought…oh god he was coming after her again. So she aimed her gun as her body shuddered in intense fear.

She saw the man stop as if he thought for a moment she might shoot him. Her vision cleared and she recognized Matt heading towards her, slowing his own movements down.

She still couldn't lower the gun, not until he approached her and wrapped his arms around her trembling body, and she melted against him sobbing against his chest. He held her tightly and just stood there like a rock as she released all the terror and exhaustion of the last few days.

* * *

Hoyt had assigned both plain and uniformed officers outside to watch for any suspicious vehicles after the officers had interviewed both C.J. and Matt. Once he'd calmed C.J. down, he'd called the police and a half a dozen cars raced to the scene splitting the air with their sirens as they approached. They'd asked her a few questions after they realized Dean had run off. When they had finished, they left saying they'd be back in the morning to look for more evidence.

Matt promised he wouldn't disturb the crime scene. He took C.J. to her guest bedroom and she curled up on the bed, still trembling. He knew from fear but also anger, but exhaustion took over soon enough especially after he got on the bed with her and wrapped his arms around her pulling her against his chest.

She closed her eyes listening to his heartbeat, the horror of the last few days slipping away for at least a little while allowing her to drift back into a dreamless sleep.

C.J. tried to pack her suitcase to head on out to Matt's cabin but she felt anger threaten to take hold of her. She'd slept several hours and when she woke up, she felt she could function. Matt made them both some coffee and she made some scrambled eggs for breakfast. It'd been the first time she felt like eating since Carl died.

"Houston…I swear I'm not so much scared as I am mad. For this guy to be driving me out of my home…out of the city for god's sake."

Matt tried to placate her.

"Just call it a couple of vacation days all right…at my place in Pinewood. Now is that such tough duty? It'll make me feel better that you're safe there."

Hoyt entered the room again.

"Take good advice in a bad situation C.J."

He turned towards Matt.

"I'll give you two a ring as soon as we catch this guy."

But Matt had already made up his mind.

"In any case C.J. I'll be here."

That news surprised and dismayed Hoyt.

"Here? I thought you were going to look after the lady."

"She rebuffed him Hoyt. She shot at the man. Yeah he's going to show up back here and I'll be waiting for him."

"Houston…this is police business."

Matt disagreed and to C.J. he sounded quite angry, not so much at Hoyt directly but at the department's lack of interest in investigating C.J.'s suspicions.

"So when did you come to that conclusion? When he killed Carl, when he put Too Mean in the hospital or is this just a result from last night's little escapade?"

C.J. got off the bed having enough of it.

"Would you guys knock it off?"

Hoyt ignored her.

"I plead guilty. If I listened to C.J. in the first place I would have had the guy but I didn't. That's because I have ten fingers and ten toes and I'm human."

He went on to explain that he had rechecked the car to see if it was tampered and C.J. had been right. If it hadn't been for Too Mean, they would have had the guy in custody.

C.J. touched him on the arm.

"Hoyt this is ancient history now isn't it?"

Hoyt and Matt just looked at odds with one another neither willing to budge. But Hoyt finally sighed.

"You're right…Houston's right. He'll find his way back here if we don't find him first."

Matt deduced that since Dean wasn't from L.A. he must be staying somewhere probably a hotel. Hoyt agreed.

"We'll get him."

Matt turned towards C.J.

"In the meantime you ought to adios huh?"

She just looked at him feeling suddenly vulnerable and nodded. Hoyt called Marge's name and in walked a uniformed officer working outside detail. He asked her if she liked the mountains and she said yes so he assigned her to be C.J.'s shadow until they caught the man. The two women shook hands and as C.J. prepared to get her bag and leave, she turned towards Matt and he kissed her goodbye.

* * *

The ride to Matt's mountain cabin by the lake was uneventful and she made small talk with Marge on the way until they reached the location. It seemed deserted and they headed into the house to unload their bags before C.J. showed Marge the place.

"Every time I'm here I wonder why I ever go back," C.J. said, "Back there everything's on tilt. All upside down…this seems real and somehow that doesn't."

Marge agreed.

"I know what you mean. I'm from farm country myself."

"Really…?"

The two women continued walking, taking in the quiet surroundings broken only by the sounds of nature. Birds chirping in the trees and squirrels scampering in the brush…nothing else to remind her of what she'd just left… She meant what she said about feeling more comfortable in a rustic environment than in a bustling city. She and Matt had grown up in ranch country after all some miles outside of Houston. Not that they didn't like living and working in L.A. but neither of them really felt home there.

Then Marge decided that she wanted to try fishing in the lake and asked if Matt had any poles or tackle. C.J. said yes and the lake was stocked with trout.

"Sounds like dinner to me if you're game."

"You know something? You have a good idea."

C.J. suggested she look for a spot to fish while she went and got the poles and gear from the cabin.

"Trout dinner coming up," Marge said.

"You bet…"

C.J. walked to the cabin looking forward to spending some time away from all the craziness by fishing in the lake like she did with Matt so many times.

But as it turned out craziness had found her.


	5. Chapter 5

C.J. didn't notice anything amiss at first. She'd gone into the cabin to retrieve the fishing poles and tackle so she and Marge could try their hand at catching up some dinner.

Then suddenly she saw the other woman lying by the side of the lake.

"Marge," she screamed.

She dropped the poles and tackle box and ran to go help the officer who was soaked by lake water from the waist up. Her head underneath the water, seemingly motionless. C.J. grabbed her and pulled her out, as Marge struggle to move. She coughed out the water and C.J.'s mind worked quickly. Something had happened to her but what?

Suddenly a familiar voice interrupted her.

"Do you believe in the hereafter?"

C.J. looked over and saw Dean standing there where he shouldn't be, just yards away from her and Marge. She kept pulling the woman further on shore, lying her down as she struggled to think of what to do now. She was all alone with the madman who'd stalked her and wrecked violence on those closest to her. If he were here, what had happened to Matt back at her house? Had Dean hurt him too? The thought burned her chest with fear as much as the sight of him in front of her.

He stepped closer to her and she left Marge and backed away, still trying to think, to plan her escape. Sidestepping her way back away from the lake while never taking her eyes off of him…then she took off at a run. Anywhere and anything to get away from him before…before he could even try to reach her, until she reached the poles and tackle box on the ground. She picked up one of the poles to swing like a club if he approached.

But it didn't stop him.

"Now the world is sick…sick with inferior values…sick with inferior people too. I thought you were different but no you're not."

She kept him at bay with the fishing pole while he prattled on with his speech. He stepped towards her again and she swung the pole missing him by inches. But the next time she hit him and he fell sideways into the lake with a splash and a surprised yell. She took that opportunity to run away from him, as far away as she could get until she found someplace safe to hide.

C.J. kept running around trees, underneath their overhanging branches searching for which way to head. If she made it to the cabin, she could barricade herself inside of it but then, all the windows and other doors, she'd never be able to keep him out.

So instead she headed straight to the ridge and sprinted up it, knowing it would lead to a plateau. There she would be surrounded by steep drop-offs but it would give her room to be seen if Matt had taken off in the helicopter to find her.

She sensed that by now he must have known where Dean would be heading if he'd lost him. But when Dean followed her up the ridge she slipped and fell near one edge of it and when she jumped back to her feet, she realized she'd given up her advantage.

And now he had a knife.

"You can't be what you aren't but when you come back you'll be better because you'll be with me. Don't forget one thing though. We're all just passing through."

She watched his every move, every nuance without listening to him as he stood there with the knife in his hand. One step backward and it was 200 feet straight down on the rocks. But if she went forward she'd have to dodge the knife.

God she so wanted to get out of her alive and not give him the satisfaction of him killing her because she hadn't wanted him. Hadn't even remembered him until he crashed back into her life and took away the man she loved.

Then she heard a familiar noise behind her. The rotors of a helicopter approaching from below. She didn't have to look to see that it was Matt flying it.

Dean saw it too and it threw him off balance. He focused his attention at the helicopter kicking up dust all around him, still waving his knife. C.J. took this opportunity to act by bolting towards Dean and pushing him as hard as she could manage. Not just for herself but for Carl, Too Mean and for everything that had been taken from her.

She fell on the ground and didn't watch as he fell screaming and tumbling down the rocky face to certain death below them. She didn't look as she heard the helicopter land nearby and the rotors turn as footsteps came rushing towards her.

She only knew that when she felt his strong arms wrap around her pulling her close to him that she was finally able to let it all go.

* * *

**Two weeks later…**

Matt hadn't taken off with the court reporter to pick up where they left off until days later when life had started settling down and C.J. had returned to work. She'd struggled a lot after the police had arrived to pick up Dean's body and fly Marge back to a hospital to be checked out after her near drowning.

C.J. had to remain behind to be interviewed since she'd killed a man and the police kept at it until they were certain they had enough evidence of justifiable homicide. It helped that Matt had witnessed it all from above in his helicopter. He told the police himself that C.J. had been cornered by a crazed man with a knife who'd already killed her boyfriend and put her bodyguard in the hospital.

The Dean file was closed soon after that and by then, Carl's brother had come forward to claim his body for burial.

Matt had been by her side at the funeral which was well attended as was the burial at Forest Lawn. She'd met his brother, an FBI agent for the first time and found him to be very nice. Carl's parents had died in a plane accident and both of them had been adopted into the same family.

Too Mean recovered and left the hospital and Matt had been paying him off for his troubles by cooking him a steak dinner. But then the court reporter had shown up from the airport because he'd flown her in for a weekend at his beach house.

C.J. shook her head but in a bemused way at his antics with the ladies. That told her that she was on the path towards healing from what had happened.

She came into the office after a weekend spent in Santa Barbara at a friend's villa. It had been just what she needed to relax on the beach and not think about much. Just feel the warm sunlight on her shoulders and smell the salty air.

Matt looked up at her from where he sat in his Jacuzzi. Buck naked of course, the man had no shame. Not that there was really any reason for it.

"Hiya boss…"

He smiled at her.

"Hiya C.J…"

She walked closer to him.

"How was your weekend?"

She smiled back at him.

"Fine…good…how's yours?"

Matt just smiled.

"It was fun but I'm glad to be back to work again," he said, "We just another case that came in…that is if you're feeling up to it."

She looked at him for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah another case would sound good about now."

So she sat down on the couch facing him as he provided her with the details. If life hadn't gotten completely back to normal, at least it was a start.


End file.
